I’ve been looking forward to my first “beauty” blog for a while now. I have quite a few lined up, actually. Interestingly enough, I’ve put off posting it because I’m like, “There is no way anyone wants beauty tips from me.” And this has nothing to do with my concept of self-love. It has everything to do with the fact that I’m really bad with makeup. Let me just rattle off some facts to support this statement:

1) I don’t know the first thing about matching a shade of foundation to my skin-tone and therefore choose not to wear any. I’m all about that tinted moisturizer life.

2) Similarly, this whole contouring thing… it’s just never going to happen for me.

3) When I got my makeup professionally done for my blog photo-shoot, the makeup artist asked me what type of skin I had, and I stared at her like she had five heads. Then when she said, “Like is it dry? Oily? Combination?” My only response was a shrug of my shoulders.

4) Of the 27 makeup items I just counted in my collection, I purchased only two of them myself. See, my mom hooks me up at Christmas-time with all the essentials because let me tell you, Mama knows makeup — what’s good for your skin, what ingredients are quality vs. not, etc. And if I don’t have to pay to look pretty, I’m all about it. Side note: I’m still waiting for the year when Dad shuts down those Christmas gifts. I guess I’ll be rocking an au naturale look at that stage in life because I won’t know what to buy… and at that point, I can only pray that my coworkers miss me with the “Oh my gosh, are you okay? You look sick!” Yes, Barbara, I’m fine… I’m just not wearing any makeup because my Dad took away my supplier. *sobs*

5) Just last weekend, my gay best friend had to clean off a dark red lip-stain from my cheekbone because I was tipsy drunk and couldn’t manage to only get my lips. And if any of you viewed my 50+ Instagram stories that night, you probably saw the remnants of it. #HotMessExpress

I could continue, but let’s get to the point of this blog, shall we? I want to share the number one “beauty” question I get asked:

“Are you wearing fake eyelashes?”

With the exception of two times (a wedding and a random professional makeup session for a friend’s birthday) I have never worn fake lashes. I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to apply them myself. There’d be glue in my eyes or lashes on my eyebrows… probably both. Nonetheless, my eyelashes are what get me the most compliments from men, but especially women. Plenty of Instagram pictures have comments like, “OMG give me your eyelashes!” or “Lashes *heart-eyed emoji*!”

So, today, I want to share my Top 3 Go-To Mascaras as well as some pictures to show you the difference in the “looks” I’m able to achieve with them. And I guess I can share some tips and tricks… but take those with a grain of salt. I am not a makeup artist.

#1 – Mally “More is More” Mascara 

So let’s talk about Mally Roncal for a second. She is a celebrity makeup artist to Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez, and Rihanna……….. do I need to keep going or have we established that this woman knows makeup? “More is More” is my go-to mascara that I wear almost everyday. One coat accomplishes a more natural lash (see Picture 1), but two or three coats allows you transition right to a night-out look (see Picture 2). The wand is perfect, with a rounded tip to get the inner and outer corners more precisely.

Now, this mascara, in my opinion, is a bit pricey, ranging from $20-$30 depending on where you are buying. My suggestion? Do what my Mama does and order from QVC during one of their Special Value sales. I believe there is one coming up in May and then another closer to the winter holidays. You get 6 tubes for $60, so instead of $20 per tube, it’s $10 per tube, which is totally comparable to any drug-store brand! Not to mention, this mascara does not dry out quickly, so these 6 tubes that I get at Christmas last me at least until the following Christmas, if not longer. If this synopsis has you interested, but you’re not quite sold, check out this QVC video to listen/watch Mally herself talk about this mascara!

#2 – IT! Tightline Mascara

Alright, so this is kind of an interesting one. When Mama originally introduced this to me, I was using it as a primer (i.e., wearing it underneath Mally’s “More is More” but as time went on, I realized how much I liked this as a regular mascara. It provides a very understated look. I wear it on the days when “I can’t even” be bothered to actually put on makeup. A quick swipe-swipe and it gives your lashes some separation, and for me, color (my tips are blonde af).

There are two main selling features of this mascara: 1) It is infused with hydrolyzed collagen, proteins, biotin, jojoba, saw palmetto, chamomile, aloe, açai, amino acids and antioxidants, and 2) the wand is so skinny that you are able to get right up to your lash line and concentrate the formula right at the roots (hence the name Tightline) giving the effect of eyeliner (see top lash line in the picture below)! Like… lazy betches unite, am I right?! Again, this mascara is a bit pricey, but in my opinion, totally worth the investment since it is actually good for your lashes.

#3 – IT! Superhero Mascara

Alright, so this mascara really is my Superhero! It’s what I wear anytime I am putting on a “full-face” of makeup — AKA, doing more than tinted moisturizer and mascara and Burt’s Bees lip balm. I don’t even feel the need to hype this mascara up because in my opinion, the pictures below are proof that you’ll be able to get full and long lashes. I generally do 2-3 coats to accomplish this type of “fake lashes” look.

Tips & Tricks

1) Consider heating up your eyelash curler. Is that what it’s called? See, I don’t know shit about makeup. Anyway, heat that scary little contraption up with your blow dryer. Do NOT put the heat on too high or you will burn the fuck out of your eyelid… #beentheredonethat. But this is something I do, especially on humid summer days, when I suspect that my curl may not hold. And if you don’t curl your lashes, I recommend doing so, It will open your eyes more and give you an instant lash lift. Oh, and before curling, I use my eyebrow pencil’s brush to brush my lashes. It could just be because I have full lashes, but when I wake up, they’re going every which way and need to be straightened out before I’m able to curl them.

2) Adjust your technique! People always stare at me funny when I put on mascara because I actually put the wand up to the root and then close my top-lid down on it. And instead of moving the wand, I shake my head “NO” and slowly work my head in a downward direction to bring the wand to the tips of my lashes. You can probably shake the wand in a side-to-side motion and look less like an idiot, but hey, you all are the ones asking if I’m wearing fake lashes, so I’m just telling you what I do. This motion, no matter how you go about it, is extremely important on the first coat because you want to separate the lashes as much as possible on this go-around.

3) Remember how many coats you have done. I’m noteworthy for doing 2 coats on one eye and 3 coats on the other. And this is so noticeable in photos. Maybe I’m the only one with this problem [and it could be because I’m normally pre-gaming with wine]. Nonetheless, one thing I do know about makeup is that symmetry is pleasing to the eye, so don’t fuck that shit up.

Well, that’s all I’ve got. To answer this question once and for all: No, I’m not wearing fake eyelashes. But if you have lash-envy when you see mine, I’d say to invest in one or all of the above mascaras! And if you’ve tried any of these or have any mascaras that you love, leave them in the comments below for others to see and try! Until next time, my friends…

FEATURED IMAGE BY: ANNIE SPRATT

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