Anyone else found themselves saying things like:

“Just throw 2020 away.”

“2020 is a straight dumpster-fire.”

“2020 can suck a big fat YOU KNOW WHAT.”

That’s been me for the past month. While the world has been in shambles, I personally have had a dark cloud following me around. Inescapable and so very dark. I’ve worked hard to outrun it, hide from it, and even been down on my knees screaming for it to leave me alone.

This blog was inspired by an actual melody [which is linked at the very end]. I have been hearing this song on the radio almost everyday on my way to/from work for weeks now. Perhaps I haven’t been ready to really hear it, but today, the lyrics imprinted on me so strongly. And suddenly, the dark cloud, while still very present, felt a little less dark. A little less consuming.

My thoughts quickly turned to gratitude and I immediately felt inspired to share every last bit of it with you all here. I hope this blog will serve as a powerful reminder that even in our darkest hour, we can always choose light.

So… in no particular order:

1. I am grateful to have the mindset of a fighter.

2. I am grateful to have a steady income during this uncertain time. I know that not everyone can feel as confident about where their next meal will come from, or how they will keep a roof over their head next month. My heart truly goes out to those struggling in this way.

3. I am grateful for my health, and the health of those that I love.

4. I am grateful for my home here in Destin, FL. Sunsets at the beach recently have reminded me that I survived another day. Meanwhile, the sunrises come with their own special wonder… that we never know what the tide will bring.

5. I am grateful for Michelle Obama’s book, Becoming, and particularly the quote: “For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.” It has been an anchor for me as of late.

6. I am grateful for strong legs that have taken me on walks almost every day for the past month. They’ve also stood strong when the rest of me has felt like collapsing into that darkness.

7. I am grateful for arms that have allowed me to feel accomplished every hour, on the hour, for a push-up challenge with a friend.

8. I am grateful for capable lungs that allow me to practice mindful breathing exercises to control my stress and anxiety.

9. I am grateful for the friends who have reached out to check on me, noticing my absence from social media and my blog.

10. I am grateful, too, for the friends who didn’t reach out and check on me, because at one point I was so overwhelmed and riddled with anxiety that I turned off my phone completely.

11. I am grateful for Facebook Marketplace allowing me to make a profit off some unwanted items.

12. I am grateful to still be able to afford luxuries like Netflix and Hulu, and I’m also grateful for a bookshelf full of stories, all of which help pass time on quarantine-weekends.

13. I am grateful for access to at-home workouts that have also occupied my time and allowed me to remember the incredible strength of my body.

14. I am grateful for technology connecting me to friends for virtual happy hours.

15. I am grateful for the program I completed last year that taught me all about self-love. I am continually learning that the only heart, mind, body, and soul that I will have for life, are my own. I intend to take special care of them.

16. I am grateful that my heart always finds a way to operate from a place of compassion and grace.

17. Speaking of my heart, although battered, bruised, stitched up in some places, and openly wounded in others, I am grateful to it for beating so vehemently every single day.

18. I am grateful to those strangers who have reached out about any number of blogs, reminding me of an affirmation I wrote a while back:
My voice matters.
My stories have value.
I am committed to sharing them both with the world.

19. I am grateful for Miranda Lambert’s lyrics:
If the house just keeps on winning | I got a wildcard up my sleeve \
And if love keeps giving me lemons \ I just mix them in my drink \
If the whole wide world stops singing and all the stars go dark \
I’ll keep a light on in my soul \ I’ll keep a bluebird in my heart.

20. I am grateful that despite everything, there is a subtle vibration within that keeps whispering…

I AM…

FEATURED IMAGE BY: SOCIAL CUT

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