Life & Love

How 2020 is Pushing an Attitude for Gratitude

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Yesterday, I was scammed out of $600.

Now, if you read my latest blog a couple weeks ago, you know that 2020 has been an absolute struggle for me; but, of course, it has been for the entire world as well.

That blog was all about finding gratitude despite all the heaviness and darkness haunting me every single day [and night, quite frankly]. And while I have never done this, I know a lot of people who choose a single word at the start of a new year to represent how they want to show up for the next 12 months. So, say in 2019, you felt out of control in aspects of your life??? In 2020, you might have chosen the word: BALANCE to anchor your thoughts and actions for the upcoming year. Some other popular ones I saw were: STRONG, INTENTIONAL, COMMITTED, and MINDFUL.

It seems my word might have been chosen for me: GRATEFUL.

Yesterday, I was scammed out of $600.

The details are not important, nor the point of this blog, so they will not be shared.

As a well-educated, typically sharp-eyed and inquisitive person, I am embarrassed [af!!!]. While filing a police report, the officer was laughing, before apologetically saying, “I’m sorry. It’s just that… this normally only happens to old people.”

If you’ve read enough of my blogs, you probably know I have a sense of humor. I chuckled back, “Listen man, you can think I’m a moron all you want. I’ve been an emotional wreck for two months. It is what it is.”

He commended me for how I was handling it. He said he’d be livid.

And while I am – partially at myself and partially at the situation – livid, there were a number of realities that helped me maintain perspective.

Yesterday, I woke up to more news of more lives lost to coronavirus.

Yesterday, I woke up to the news that the Musset Bayou Wildfires, which was one of three wildfires in the Florida panhandle on May 5th, had destroyed over 500 acres of land and an unknown number of homes… 20 miles from where I live.

Yesterday, I woke up to trending headlines of an unarmed black man in Georgia, who was murdered in cold blood back in February, but neither of his white supremacist assailants had been charged.


I could have lost family and friends to COVID-19 yesterday. I could have lost my home and my precious belongings to wildfires yesterday. Or, I could simply be black in America and [insert any innocuous activity, like “jogging in a neighborhood”… something that white people have the luxury of doing without risking being shot to death].

I mean really. How privileged am I that I only lost $600 yesterday???

It sounds like such a strange thing to say, and even for me it does, considering my extreme anxiety around money. But, 2020 is teaching me a lot about gratitude. And that’s not to say that I haven’t been grateful in the past, because I have.

It’s just that in some ways, it feels like gratitude is only thing I have left after all this year has served up for me. And man, I find myself holding onto it for dear life these days.

So, I am GRATEFUL and as always…

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20 thoughts on “How 2020 is Pushing an Attitude for Gratitude

  1. Look. As shitty as this year has been, I know it’ll be a year where you emergen from this badder than ever. I love how you turned this into a teaching moment. โค๏ธ

  2. I was recently scammed too!! And it was sooo embarrassing! I didnโ€™t even want to tell my husband! It took me a couple days to come clean- and then of course he wasnโ€™t mad at me. Once again, such a beautiful perspective! ๐Ÿ’•

    1. It really is so sickening that it’s happening in a time like this but it’s surely probably gotten worse! I had to laugh it off all day, at times, in order to not cry ๐Ÿ˜‚ but I’m low-key hoping my dad doesn’t read this blog for the same reason you didn’t want to tell your hubby! ๐Ÿ’› Thanks for sharing, love!

    2. Wow you are such an insprational to me..Words can not explain what your words mean to me… We all have our challenges in life, but to keep pressing through the unexpected is the key, and I am greatful to you for that….

      1. Well damn, Surhonda! Just out here making me wanna cry! ๐Ÿ’› YOU are an inspiration to me, too, with how you have overcome so many of life’s challenges!

  3. We have all had a hard pill to swallow, some more than others. When Dane was diagnosed with T1D, it never made it better to hear “well it could be worse”. As you stated or part of my interpretation, It is us to decide what is worse or better or need our own time to be angry, reflect, learn, adapt, move forward.

    I think part of the whole Covid 19 “we are all on the same boat” being appropriately adjusted “we may all be in the same storm, but we are all definitely not on the same boat”. I think of my days growing up in Brooklyn and definitely having it better than others (a closed friend live in a 3 room (not 3 bedroom apartment) with a family of 7. How are people surviving in those living arrangements in NYC or anywhere. Even in Brooklyn, we had a backyard and a rooftop we could enjoy.

    Even now, families can have very similar living arrangement to mine and their experiences a world apart.

    Ahmaud looks so much like a friend of mine I have known since HS, big friendly smile too. I cannot imagine. I can’t. I have known murder and death, but not simple because of the color of one’s skin and the ability to run fast. My family and I will never know that storm or be in the same boat.

    We have our own $600 or so lost story. We have our ways of dealing with our experiences and they belong to us.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Love and miss you.

    1. So beautifully stated! Thank you for taking the time to share this comment and PERSPECTIVE, John.

      I once heard someone say that it’s not fair to ourselves to compare our valleys to the valleys of those around us. Because it can diminish our sorrows that are very real, and very heavy, and very dark to us. I believe COVID-19 is showing the complexity of the human experience… because as you said, same storm, but definitely not the same boat.

      Miss and love you, too! Thank you for your support! ๐Ÿ’› I’ll be walking 2.23 miles for Ahmaud today.

  4. Melanie, I am so glad you are putting these on facebook. I could never figure out how to subscribe before as it always spammed the email. Thank you for sharing,and I am thinking about you. Glad to see you writing!!!

  5. Okay, can’t stop commenting. We have all been scammed in our life, but remember it is just money. Money is not the same as your health, your spirit, you and those you love and who love you, too.

  6. Your resilience is admirable. Blessed to have you in my corner! And know that no matter what 2020 throws your way — I’m right here with you!

  7. This was such a beautifully optimistic take on such a shitty situation. I’m glad that all that has happened in 2020 thus far hasn’t broken your beautiful spirit and you’re showing up for yourself. That $600 will be chump change compared to what will come to you! Forever inspired by you!!

    1. I agree! That $600 is just a drop in the bucket. I also believe in karma on the other end of this spectrum, so they’ll get what’s coming to them. Thank you for reading and supporting and being there for this wild ride! ๐Ÿ’›

  8. You are such a strong individual! Girl I would have been a wreck! What most people fail to understand is money has no value when your are always serving and working in your purpose! That money will will make its way back to you with interest on it just because of how graceful you handled the situation.
    Youโ€™re truly amazing for what youโ€™ve overcome in 2020.

    1. Thank you, Kyara!! Back to me with interest… I love that! ๐Ÿ’› I’ve had a complicated relationship with money for as long as I can remember, but I’m working on that in big and small ways! This was just one of those!

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